How to turn Down a Date
9 Dec My lovelies: Over here at Maura Kelly Headquarters, we've been alerted to the fact that there's A SERIOUS PROBLEM out there in The Dating World. To wit: Women seem to think it's perfectly okay to completely blow off dudes who ask them on a second date. And their lady friends do not call them out on. 10 Sep It's easy to daydream about your crush asking you out on a date — but it's also totally normal to freak out over the idea of someone you're not into asking you the same thing. In the name of all that is sensitive and unsubtle in this world ( because no one wants to wonder if "I'm busy this weekend" actually. 2 Jun No one likes rejection, and simultaneously, no one likes to be the bearer of bad news. However, saying “thanks, but no thanks” is not only good online dating etiquette; it's also an important part of your search for the person who you're truly interested in. So how do you tell people you're not into them without.
But the only thing harder, more awkward, and weirder than dating which, okay, can also be fun and pleasant and great-ish, occasionallyis actually saying no to a date.
The cripplingly cringe-y factor of having to do the "I'm just not that into you" dance is the worst. Here, nine women share their strategies for how they turn down here date—or just avoid it, depending on the style and level of cowardice of each particular lady.
Rachel, 28 "I am very blunt when I'm not interested.
I don't have to do that very often, though, because I'm also very blunt when I don't want to give someone my number. So if you're texting me in the first place, I'm probably going to say yes. If it's any date other than the first one, This web page will say no and tell them why, in the way that I'd want to be told—I'm not feeling it going anywhere but thanks for How To Politely Say No To Dating time, etc.
The reason I give is true about 70 percent of the time; the only ones I lie to are the really nice ones where there was just no chemistry, because men never believe there was no chemistry if they were attracted to you.
To them I say, 'Hey, so, I really enjoyed getting to meet you, but things have gotten a bit more serious with someone else I was seeing and I'm going to see where that goes. Best of luck,' and they are always great about it. Most of them are just like, 'Cool, text me if it doesn't work out. Highly recommend, though effects on karma remain unknown. Sarah, 28 "During my tenure on the NYC dating scene I practiced the "long, slow good-bye" with reckless abandon.
If you're not familiar, a "long, slow good-bye" is a strategically and subtly reduced frequency of contact. He texts, you respond one day later. He responds, you respond two days later.
He texts, you respond four full days later I usually double the amount of time I wait with each response, but you can use any time frame you deem appropriate for your predisposed texting cadence. I do realize that this technique is far from unique or unorthodox—in fact, it's probably the most selfish easiest way to dump someone.
Avoid sounding bad, rude or uptight by being nice, firm and direct at the same time. Click below to let us know you read this article and want to be a part of our mission to help othersand wikiHow will donate to World Possible on your behalf. But most of the time, if you can't find something nice to say, the problem might be with you! Help answer questions Learn more. It will show that you have thought about it and you care about someone's feelings.
Irrespective of my favor toward the "long, slow good-bye" method, I probably wouldn't recommend it to anyone new to the dumping scene.
My reasoning is equally as selfish as the method itself: The "long, slow good-bye" is followed by an ominous feeling of guilt and self-contempt if you have even a morsel of a conscience. Additionally, your formerly blissful nights spent at Dorrian's and Bounce will be forever marred by hauntingly inevitable go here with past dumpees.
I can tell you that this is an experience about as pleasant as a root canal and provides an ABRUPT reminder that time does not heal all wounds.
You Asked Her Out, She Said "No". Now What Do You Do? - Tonight Sex!
The fling you 'long slow good-bye-d' when you were 24 will still loathe you when you're Rebecca, 34 "One time on a bus a guy asked me for my number, and instead of being honest I gave him a fake one.
Because Murphy's Law is real, the man dialed it in front of me then proceeded to shame me in front of my fellow passengers.
Since then I made two promises to myself: That I would always be kind but honest if asked out—usually a, 'No thank you' is enough—and 2.
That I would never blame it on having a partner, because I should be allowed to just not like someone and not feel bad about it. I have a really nasty habit working on it of bailing on a date hours before it's supposed to happen, usually with click old, 'Oh shit, I'm sorry, my boss just told me I have to work late. I've pulled the 'family emergency out of town' far too many times, and my How To Politely Say No To Dating low point was when I told a guy that my sister was in the hospital when she is perfectly healthy.
To be fair, I usually pull this crap with Tinder dates and I'm much nicer with actual prospects, set-ups, and people I've actually met IRL. But yes, I am rude and terrible, and I'm sure my karma is so stacked against me at this point that I will be single for life.
Did this article help you? How to say no to a date? Guys have feelings too! Give him an answer as soon as possible. I'm just going to ignore him and hope he goes away.
Lauren, 28 "When a guy asks me on a date over text I pull the awkward, 'Suuuure, let's find a dayyyy,' and then am vague, noncommittal, and generally annoying until we can both agree that life is SO crazy right now and I recognize that I'm the worst and it's so rude—and personally, I'd much rather have someone just be straightforward with me and tell me he just doesn't want to see me anymore, but Rowena, 28 "If it's only been two or three dates I try to give everyone a second chance unless they're truly terribleI usually just say I'm really busy and ghost.
If it's been more than that, though, I'll be honest and say I don't think it's the right thing for me.
Kim, 26 "When someone asks me out and I don't want to go with them, it's not that hard to make my scheduling sound so impossible that I can't ever see them! This happens a lot. And then when they still persist, like asking for coffee or something, I tell them I don't drink coffee and that's not even a lie!
I'm a huge bitch and that is why I How To Politely Say No To Dating single. To the point where, when one guy asked me out on a second date that I was not interested in going on, I typed out a very nice 'You're great, but I don't think we're right for each other' text message to reply with and then proceeded to continually stare at it but not actually send the thing—until finally too much time passed and I had just ghosted on him by default. So instead of saying no, I usually just say nothing.
Charlize, 30 link a guy asks me out on a date in person and I want to decline, I usually say that I'm in a relationship. Sometimes this is a lie and sometimes it is true. I just think there's no constructive aspect to being honest about why you're saying no in the initial encounter if they've approached you in the right respectful way. That shit takes balls on their part.
4 Tips on HOW TO SAY NO TO A 2d DATE Nicely ... (Ladies, Why the Double Standard?)
However, given the gift of the scenario in which some asshole tries to do it, I relish in every opportunity for the public takedown. Then comes the all-too-familiar scenario of meeting someone—whether it's over the Internet or in person—and being initially attracted enough to exchange numbers, then being turned off for whatever read: When the making IRL plans topic is broached, I initially put it off.
Guys source drop anything if it becomes too hard, in New York especially, no matter how attractive it initially was. I usually save the 'I don't think this is a match' for someone suggesting a second date after an unenjoyable first. In rare occasions I've given that halfway through a first, but only when it was really painful or offensive.
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